Anniversary Confessions: How I Overcame my “Fear of Writing”


My writing ability remains a miracle to behold: I basically had to pray my way into it. Fear of mediocrity (or yarning dust), perfectionism, over-reliance on self motivation that wasn’t forthcoming and so on held me back like a curse. I would include “write…” in my to-do list everyday and then end up with a blank slate- “nothing to write home about”.

All my adult life I have always had series of notebooks I carry around like a purse. There I write down random to deep thoughts that show up in my mind from time to time. I would question myself, criticize myself, and ginger myself in these notebooks.

However I noticed something… each time I went through such exercise, it was usually accompanied by some kind of serenity or fierce will that previously never existed. It elevated me from mediocrity and momentary bouts of indiscipline to excellence and diligence on several occasions most remarkably while in the university.

I would hold “motivational talks” with myself and sometimes imagine myself speaking to some imaginary audience with me seated in the front row but whenever I tried to articulate them in writing I failed.

English Language turned out to be much more difficult than I thought!

And then one day I summoned courage. My friend had just launched her blog, what a great motivation that was! I got the ginger and set up my blog. I was going to become a motivational writer! Sounds cool doesn’t it? But then who’s a writer without writing? Where’s the content?

***Blank stare***

Then I decided: my random journalistic jottings were going to lead me to one of my most desired purpose in life. Why write to ginger myself alone when I can pass the positive energy on to others? The desire for impactful writing became so strong; I picked up interest in reading deeply inspiring and articulate books and articles.

I would read and then “forget” what I have read; cramming up quotes and all that stuff from personal development books was never a strength that I had, I would end up “remixing” them so I never bothered. However, the positive messages and energy from these great books diffused subtly into my subconscious mind. It was an unconscious process, all the while I kept thinking up ways to overcome my fear of writing, it was already happening, subtly, and eventually all I had to do was “just do it”.

The motivation to write never came, the words never got easier to craft. I had to get over my perfectionism, fear of mediocrity and just write!

It was hard but I ignored the hardship. Back then, I had a habit of literally running away whenever I was having a rough or tough start that caused me to stay stuck in fear but this time I ignored that too and just got right into it. I would pause for minutes thinking up the right or best words to express or convey a thought but I didn’t run. I did this for a while until finally I broke free of the mental barrier I had created for myself against writing.

Then the words started pouring out like… *please insert your preferred metaphor*. It was as though the key to my subconscious abilities had been unlocked.

I would cut out weak, irrelevant lines and add up adjectives with great noun-qualifying strength. I would look up the meaning and use of words that jumped right out of my subconscious mind into my thoughts just to be sure my grammar and semantics were right.

I would research related quotes to add depth to my content and then I would go over my writings again and again to refine each line till it made the most sense (to me and my imaginary audience).

Finally on my birthday in 2015, I put finishing touches to the blog and hit publish. At about 11 pm that day, my very first post came alive! With that first write up, I was able to break free of my self-inflicted fear of writing, all thanks to God.

Fast forward July 5th, 2017…

I really can’t express how much growth I have acquired since I sent out that first post. I now have a more mature outlook on life and personal development has become part and parcel of my life. Writing about personal development has challenged me to work harder at it.

Now I have about 30 posts on my blog. I also have posts on a wedding blog and other websites with more being drafted for publishing.

Because I am a lot more aware than before, life has become a lot more “challenging”. The journey hasn’t gotten any easier and I haven’t attained perfection either. I have become even more aware of the flaws in my personality and that makes personal development an even more challenging activity for me. But I like the challenge. Working at it, though frustrating sometimes, (it can be so darn hard to change and quit our bad habits) gives me hope. When I look back at how I used to be I know that it’s worth the effort.

Something about personal development, it seems so self-centered, but then he who fails to develop himself will be of no relevance in developing his family, the community, let alone a whole nation.

“See a man that labours on improving himself and in no time, he’d become an inspiration to others who only dream to be in his shoes. Soon, people observing him, watching him grow and develop everyday would in no time pick themselves up and assume the challenge. No one likes to be left behind.”

Happy 2nd anniversary,!



Self-Reflection: The Path to a Better Life




Someone once asked me… “Where do you get your write-ups from? Those posts are beyond you!”

*blink* *blink* Awkward silence…

My posts are probably too advanced for where I am at the moment (I mean who am I to tell people what to do with their lives?) but somehow, I just can’t wait till I “get there” before I begin to share my reflections, lessons and observations. That’s like waiting to get home before telling my cousin who’s also on her way home where the keys are.

But then again, who am I sharing these with?


Well, yes you! However, these words are not meant for you alone, but for me too. It is like my “higher self” writing to my normal self and every other person out there that can connect to the topic. I am not just writing to an audience, I am part of the audience. Maybe that’s why I’m able to write with so much passion (or vexation): I am challenging myself as well to make better decisions and live a better life!

The Path to a better life? Reflection! Reflection!! Reflection!!!

I hear people say things like “Don’t take advice except its some accomplished guru telling you what to do with your life.”

Well, one of the most effective advice you’ll ever find is the one that comes from within… your conscience. Sadly people tend to run from their conscience until they hear those same words again from some accomplished guru they claim to respect or admire.

No one knows your journey better than you. No one knows your life mistakes, strengths and weaknesses better than you. It is just that we tend to ignore these things and then wait until someone else comes to validate their existence.

One way to get in touch with our conscience is by reflection… silence. But many run, they flee from this very act. How many people have the mind to stand face to face with the truth, the hard-core-truth?, which is what our conscience presents to us. We’d rather fill up this time with social media, TV and endless bants or rants about other people’s lives and accomplishments.

Lessons from the Past…

One of my best accomplishments in life, all thanks to God, sprang up from a moment of deep, intense self-reflection even before I knew what that was: Me, alone with my thoughts, reflecting upon my then present and past circumstances.

It was back in the university, and no, I wasn’t messing around, I just wasn’t doing enough. I was a bit distracted and was taking certain things for granted.

I started out great, though not on purpose. I underestimated my abilities until I saw my first ever result… a 4.83 GPA, first semester, 100 level. Along the way, I started getting comfortable and my performance started fluctuating. Still on a first class over all but I wasn’t putting in my best effort to not just maintain it but even improve upon it. At some point I consciously aimed for a 5.0 GPA per semester but then instead of hitting it I was sliding even farther behind.

It was time again for exams, second semester, 300 level and I set out to read in an empty lecture room (being a “people person”- interested in people either by observation or by interaction- I concentrate better studying alone than with people around me). I didn’t plan to reflect, it just happened. I found myself writing to myself on a piece of paper:

“What is wrong with you?”

and then I started listing out everything that was indeed wrong with me. In a while I was staring at my weaknesses face to face.

No, I didn’t wait for my parents or anyone to notice and then talk about it. I confronted myself.

And then it happened…

All thanks to God, I hit the 5.0 GPA in first semester 400 level, though I encountered another realization through reflection on why it took so long to get it. I might share that in another post, someday. But remember this:

You do not have to sit for hours at a motivational seminar, or spend days reading motivational books to confront the weaknesses of your life.

Sometimes we get so addicted to reading motivational stuff without really channeling the energy obtained on anything worthwhile.

I got to know about motivational books and all after graduation from the university, thank God for Omotayo B. Adeoye, my friend and then “rival” (haha! jokes. Tayo was an inspiration on her own), who gave me a collection of over 200 e-books. I haven’t even gotten “quarter-way” yet.

My own personal confrontation with myself produced one of the biggest motivations I could ever find, at that moment.

Reading motivational books and articles post-uni has only helped me to improve the process of personal development and has given me more profound things to think and reflect upon. It has helped to refine my thoughts and actions and become even better at self assessment. It has helped to improve my writing skills too, to the point where I can share lessons articulately with you and I.

So my dear friend, what are you waiting for? Brian Tracy’s upcoming book on “Time Management and Productivity”? Done a pre-order yet? Or you’re waiting for your spouse or parents to notice how “slacky” you have been lately and then give you an hour’s worth of lecture before you take necessary steps to make necessary changes?

At every point in our lives, we would always need self-reflection so that we do not lose sight of our goals, or lose focus needed to live on purpose and attain fulfillment in life. And yes, this is me looking back at my journey so far to find wisdom and motivation for the present and then the future.

Go ahead and confront all such weaknesses that are holding you back from your breakthrough. Let your conscience help you grow, God put it in you for a reason!

EXPERIENCE: How to Unlock Your Well of Wisdom


Experience is like an orange… what you squeeze out is what you get. You have to squeeze as much juice from your orange as you can get, taste it and then savor the sweetness or sourness of it.

Many people let their experiences go without getting anything meaningful out of them. They see and feel things happen but they never question, they never ask, they never ponder, they never wonder. They just live through them and move on to the next. Oh, what a waste!

Our life basically, is made up of experiences. From the day we were born till the day we die, it’s all just experiences upon experiences- our own personal experiences and the shared experiences of others.

And embedded in our life experiences is the key to great wisdom if only man would reflect.

An open mind, not limited by critical thinking and skepticism is one of the great attributes of a man or woman with wisdom. When you allow biased beliefs and opinions get in the way of your analyses or learning you hardly get anything meaningful or mind-enriching out of it.

When other people share their life experiences with you, it is not for your entertainment. Listen, question, ponder and reflect, there’s something for you as well. What lessons can you obtain from your own experiences and those of other people?

A smart way to live…

Why wait until “it” happens to you before learning about how to deal with whatever “it” means.

“Life has a way of rewarding the prepared even when he/she’s not prepared enough.

And you can never be prepared enough for the unpredictable circumstances that show up in life… Prepare anyway.”


Though our circumstances may differ (and they usually do), we all do not pass through the same life experiences: The fact that your friends married “the wrong men/women” really doesn’t mean all men/women are whack and you’d end up with same. It really doesn’t mean you should run from marriage for fear of marrying the wrong person. Rather you should reflect upon the circumstances and the roles each of your friends and their spouse had to play in their experience.

That’s where having an objective and open mind comes into play.

Without any form of bias towards your friends, what lessons can you learn from them that would help you avoid making the same mistakes as they did?

Connecting dots…

I have gone over some of my past experiences over and over again to find useful links that can be used to advance or improve my present situation.

There were times in the past when you passed through challenges or trying circumstances, how did you deal with them? Sometimes our past experiences show up again dressed in different clothes with a different name and circumstance.

How were you able to conquer your fears in the past? What moves can you borrow and then improve upon to tackle your present situation?

Sometimes, the experience is new, to you, but there are people who have had similar experiences, what can you learn from them that can help you deal with your own situation gracefully?

When connecting dots…

One great thing about past experiences: you saw the beginning and then the end, even though the end might have just been the beginning of another episode, you know what led to what and you saw how the challenges were overcome.

How did your obedience (or disobedience) to God or your parents turn out for you? If you had listened to that advice you were given years ago, what difference do you think it would have made in your life today?

If Steve Jobs never got kicked out of Apple initially would the iPhone still have come into existence? Steve Job’s experiences outside Apple, the struggles he faced restarting and running his own companies (NeXT, Pixar), the ideas he got while at it all contributed to the success he eventually had on returning to Apple.

Right there in our life experiences, there are dots to be connected, great lessons to be learned. But in all of these don’t forget to pray for divine wisdom; the kind of wisdom that helps you see the light in every dark situation, that helps you grow and then grow other people, the kind of wisdom that keeps you curious and enthusiastic about learning more from your own life experiences and the experiences of others.

And wisdom, like intelligence, is a gift- it should be used for the good of mankind.

How to Elevate Your Life can be Pretty Simple: Just Say NO!



When you think of the word “angel”, you imagine someone who’s extremely nice and would never say NO to your requests, he/she would do anything else in this world but say NO to you.

Sadly, there are no angels on earth, you’d have to get to heaven to find one.

There are many factors that determine whether we achieve success or fulfillment in life or not and while hard work, diligence and determination are required to achieve and maintain that, your ability to say NO when and where necessary can decide whether you make it eventually or not.

The reason why some people are not where they want to be is not because President Buhari of Nigeria is slow and vague in making economic decisions, it is not because of the global recession, neither is it because Donald Trump will become President of America in January, 2017, rather it is due to their inability to say NO when they need to: NO to meaningless engagements, NO to popular opinions that lack depth, NO to requests that tamper with their integrity and self-discipline…

I have said NO a gazillion times in the course of my life. However, I have discovered that on growing up and becoming an adult, it has become a lot more difficult especially when your really close friend, boss, colleague or family member is giving you that puppy eye or stern look that tells you subtly that your future relationship depends on it or when the rest of the world who’s said YES seem to be having all the fun in the world while at it.

So how does using the word NO change your life for good?

It makes you an authentic person: The world is filled with so much distrust and lack of integrity. People find it way easier to make promises they will not keep than say NO right away and be free of unnecessary baggage. Cultivating the habit of using an authentic NO will help you develop the fine quality of authenticity and thus you stand out from the less disciplined crowd.

Not everyone will love you for this but then, good riddance!

It adds more life to your years and more years to your life:

By using an authentic NO at the right time, you get to live more meaningfully by focusing only on things that really matter and weeding out unnecessary engagements.

Some people complain that 24 hours seem pretty short to achieve their set goals but then think about this: more than half of people in this category actually spend a lot of their time on things that add no value to their existence: chats and arguments on past activities of celebrities and footballers, gossip and complaining about things they could actually do something about or even worse things they cannot change, among others.

Until you cultivate the habit of saying NO to these kinds of activities, even a million hours will never be enough. You will miss out on living a really fulfilled life because unsorted responsibilities and activities will keep piling up on you.

It helps you develop authentic relationships with people that value authenticity:

Even though I do not totally agree with the opinion that “you are who you attract” because in my opinion “even the devil wants to go to heaven but going to heaven wouldn’t make him change his evil ways”. Being a good person really doesn’t mean only good people would be attracted to you, even shady and unscrupulous people would try to get close to you, however, being an authentic person increases your chances of being appreciated and approached by authentic people or those that value such traits.

It keeps you healthy and baggage free: I have always wondered how our emotions and thoughts affect our health, but then the rising cases of hypertension, high blood pressure, stroke and the likes with leading causes being traced to worry, fear and fatigue has made me realize how strong the connection is. When you keep your life streamlined and focused by saying NO to irrelevant activities and engagements, you get to free your thoughts from worry and anxiety, you get to live intentionally and not under unnecessary pressure from external sources.

And finally,

It allows you to be of meaningful contribution because you know a YES means you’re fully committed and you’ll put in your best effort to achieve the desired outcome.


How to Say NO without hurting anyone’s feelings

  • Try suggesting alternative options
  • Show concern but be firm about why you think you are not the right fit for the purpose
  • Don’t give any misleading statements that will keep them hopeful when you know you will not change your mind
  • Get your intentions right: be sure you’re saying no for the right reasons, and have also given it ample thought, pros and cons, before giving your reply.




Sometimes I think that I am not qualified to give personal development tips and advice, I mean I haven’t broken any world record neither have I fed 5 thousand people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish.

However, I have benefited greatly from my moments of self awareness and reflection. They have helped me ace exams, execute projects successfully and make better/ more rewarding decisions in life.

As such I have come to convince myself: Even if you do not become the richest or the most successful woman in the world, even if you do not live to see the next decade or century, even if you never achieve your dreams, by sharing your stories and positive thoughts, you can support and encourage others in their own journey through life; You can help someone else achieve much more.

And from my experience in writing so far, I have come to discover the truth in this quote:

“Form the habit of encouraging others, and you will find it a wonderful tonic for both those encouraged and yourself, for you will get back encouraging and uplifting thoughts.”

– Theron Dumont (Author: The Power of Concentration)

It is with this uplifting thought that I write this post. I sincerely hope that you’re able to tap into the positive energy and then let it flow graciously to those around you.



– Life is lived bits by bits. You will never cross the ocean if you do not lose sight of the shore:

This is something I remind myself of all the time especially when I find myself getting overwhelmed by some demanding project or task but really, it applies to all areas of life.

We tend to get carried away by the size of our dreams and aspirations, our goals and ambitions and as such get easily overwhelmed and discouraged.

We forget that the little steps taken daily by us are what leads to the final picture: The series of assignments, tests and exams that form your BSc. or MSc. certificates/ qualifications; the daily bathing, feeding, clothing, and caring for the little child till his/ her maturity (I have been guilty of always imagining how much work it’s going to take for a nursing mother to grow her child), It’s all about the little steps and tasks well executed on a daily basis.

So next time you find yourself procrastinating or losing hope over the magnitude of work you have to do to succeed at anything, remind yourself that you do not have to do it all at once. Take your time to properly breakdown your goals/ tasks into executable SMART chunks and then remember to…

– Appreciate the little wins:

This is something I used to ignore as well. We’re always looking forward to the next task, assignment or project and then it becomes so easy to get stressed.

Appreciating and showing gratitude for the little successes we achieve in our daily tasks enables us to maintain the needed motivation to achieve our goals.

While it is great to appreciate little wins, it is also important to remember your past glories and blessings. Not to find reasons to be proud and arrogant but rather to find inspiration/ motivation in yourself- your journey so far – and not elsewhere.

If you could score a C in that subject you found really difficult back then, then believe that you can totally ace this new challenge. And why would that be? Because what you had to do to get that C has made you stronger, sharper, smarter and more qualified. You are not the same person that you were before then. You have grown tremendously. Acknowledge that growth and build your next aspiration on it. Let it propel you to aim higher and raise your stakes.

Building momentum on your past wins however little, will go a long way in providing the needed self confidence and optimism to conquer your next challenge.

– Surround Yourself with Positive People:

When you spend time with great personalities who exude positive energy and character, it makes life way easier and enjoyable to live. You are always fired up for new challenges and new successes.

Dissociate from people who make you feel bad about yourself, people who hardly encourage you to be better, also people who make you feel like giving up on your personal growth.

Having people who believe in you and support you is not commonplace and is therefore a blessing to those who do have them. However, we should make effort to reach out to these kinds of personalities wherever we find them (on social media or elsewhere) and be willing to also make as much impact because really it takes two (or more) to tango. Do not expect to always be at the receiving end, go out and give something of yourself too.

– Take Time to Unplug:

Life can be really “noisy” sometimes; So much is happening in the news, in your environment, your work place, and sometimes even in your immediate/ extended family.

Well, guess what?

You really do not have to be a part of the noise all the time. Take some time to disconnect from unnecessary activities and just focus on you: your well being. As we grow older in life, we’ll get to find more sense in this act. A lot of people are unnecessarily busy with nothing great to show for it. There’s always an event, or an activity to be involved in.

The earlier you realize that the rate of your personal growth is dependent on how much time you spend with yourself and your loved ones, how much you really invest into meaningful relationships and engagements, the easier it becomes to live and truly enjoy life.

And when all else fails…

Remember that you didn’t “fall from heaven”. There is a God that is still there.

Take your relationship with God a lot more seriously because whether you believe it or not, things can get out of your control, sometimes even your loved ones cannot help you as much as they’d love to, they cannot ease your pain and make you feel better.

Certain aspects of life still lie way beyond your control or imagination and really there’s no point in trying to force it. It only makes sense to submit totally to the one who created you and all other beings in order to have life submit to you as well.

Irrespective of whatever challenges you face, always remember these little tips and you will find things way easier than ever as you paddle enthusiastically through your own sea of life.



We live in an inconsistent world…

Life is not constant.

Times are always changing; situations are never always the same.

One day, you are comfortable, all is well with you and then another day, you find yourself in a tough situation but then you just can’t give up. You’ve got to keep going, you’ve got to thrive and not just survive.

Some days you wake up strong, healthy and happy, some days you don’t feel so strong, you probably got flu or something and then some days you’re just not emotionally upbeat.  It just happens but you still gotta work, you still gotta make things happen, you can’t stop yet, you just have to keep going.

Maybe take some time to rest and recuperate but you know you’re going back sooner or later to make your own little contribution in the world either by the way of your work or your time.

So whenever you’re making or taking any life decision like marriage, career, and so on, remember to ask yourself some probing questions:

  • Would my love for this remain constant even in the face of life’s unpredictable circumstances?
  • Would I be satisfied and happy with this no matter how rough or tough life gets?

We can never be detailed enough while planning for the future; we can never be too sure.

However, we can take that leap of faith while knowing in our hearts that regardless of what the consequences are, life is full of second chances, and contrary to popular belief, opportunities “hardly come but once”; we can make positive changes and live mindfully, in appreciation of every single circumstance we encounter along the way.


Photo Source: Huffington post

I read a book today.. about a child that grew up in a home unfit to grow a child. He was molested, maltreated and nurtured to become the worst version of himself. Then everyone started calling him a bad boy, a menace to the society.. and guess what? He actually turned out to be the greatest menace that society had ever seen.

This got me thinking…

Why would we give up on a “difficult” child and abandon all hopes of his or her salvation? Wouldn’t it be way better to throw that child into a den of ravenous lions to be devoured and forgotten than to give up and condemn him or her to the worst of treatments (verbal or physical), in which he or she is reminded constantly of how his or her existence is a curse to the world for in truth, that would be the end result.

No one knows what the future holds for anyone be it a child or an adult. Even the good and pampered child, loved by all can turn out to be a murderer, drug addict and adulterer in the end. You ask how?

Life is made up of seasons (seasons of happiness, joy, love, sorrow, discomfort, pain, success and failure) and in each of these lie the test of our character and strength. Some fail woefully along the way, unable to stand the test of whatever values and discipline they have acquired in life.

No matter how much discipline a parent or guardian tries to instill in a child, eventually the child  maybe an adult now, would have to develop and rely on his or her own self discipline to conquer life’s temptations and unavoidable challenges.

A child except condemned by God to end up a disaster, is still a child and childhood remains the easiest time to influence a life, a soul, a destiny.

As a parent or guardian, a great step in the right direction would be to make sincere and consistent efforts to get that child away from the “devils” (all forms of negative influence either in form of humans or technology), anything that could render your efforts useless. Emigrate if necessary but get that child away!

God has placed a destiny in your hands and whether you like it or not, you will answer for whatever role you played in his or her growth.

Never give up on a child, for that is the fastest way to condemn him or her to destruction and ruin. Sooner or later, the child will come into his or her own, a fully grown man or woman, fully responsible for his or her own decisions. What will be your own contribution? What gifts do you have to share to make this being the best he or she could ever be?



We like the beautiful and handsome; the one with all the swag and physical perfection.

We are attracted to the ones with the best diction and accent, the one with the perfect smile, the perfect speech, the perfect ideas and the perfect belongings, properties or acquisitions.

However, in the midst of all that “perfection” lay cast in the shadow the “imperfect ones” longing for love and affection; for a friendly word of hope and encouragement, an uplifting smile or a shoulder to lean on.

We are not even aware of their existence; we pay little or no attention…

  • When was the last time you said hello or smiled randomly at a beggar or a helpless kid you see every day on your way to work?
  • Have you ever stopped to chat with the errand boy or security guy in your work place?
  • Have you ever helped an old man or woman who’s weak and feeble with their bags or baggage on your way out? Do you even notice them?

Most of us in one way or the other are on a quest for perfection: the perfect job, the perfect spouse, the perfect boss, colleague or employee, the perfect friends, the perfect life! And thus we complain when the imperfect happens or is encountered.

We seek perfection in all our endeavors thereby failing to appreciate the little twists and turns that makes our journey more fulfilling and rewarding in the end.


Every day in this world represents a great new opportunity in countless ways: a new business, a new investment, a new positive habit, a new job, a new home, a new idea, a new solution, a new friend…

Amidst the hustle and bustle to make ends meet we do not fail to notice the “perfect ones” among us; the ones with an “extra dose” of blessings that just seem to captivate us all the way.

We fail to recognise and appreciate the fact that life would be lacking greatly in meaning and substance if everyone and everything around us were perfect.

The poor and needy, the neglected kids, the elderly, the physically challenged, the slow learner in your class, the “black sheep” of your workplace or family with all the character flaws in the world- all these and more contribute to the awesomeness of life if only you knew.

The imperfections are God’s way of making us grateful for all that we have and all that we do not have. In the midst of all the imperfection in the world lies our opportunity to show gratitude and to enrich our own lives through reaching out to those in need of our good words and actions.


  • Maybe we were made strong so we can help the weak find their strength.
  • Maybe we are physically able so we can help the physically disabled.
  • Maybe we are rich and successful so we can help the poor and needy live comfortably and probably discover their own path to a great fortune.
  • Maybe we are wise and intelligent so the world can be made a better place by our insights and ideas.

All in all, the lesson to be drawn from this is:

Be it in form of our words or our actions, we all have a favor to do for the man or woman, boy or girl next to us and most times we really shouldn’t wait to be asked before we do it.

We shouldn’t expect to be compensated for doing it.

We shouldn’t expect gratitude either.

We should, however, look up to the One who gave us the wisdom, strength and capability to do all that we have in gratitude and in hope for the grace to do more.

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Source: Pinterest

There are so many ways by which we limit ourselves without knowing. Some of our thoughts, beliefs and lifestyle are the reasons why we are not where we truly want to be. They are the very reasons for our standstill or set back in life.

To get rid of every ounce of self limitation in you, you need to have a self awareness session with yourself: a moment of deep reflection and assessment of your character and personality, your beliefs and lifestyle.

How have you been holding yourself back from greatness? Have you been shooting yourself in the leg all this while? How have you been engaging in self-limitation? Let’s find out…

–  You cherish your ego way too much

Opportunities for greatness can come from any source, at any point in time and in any situation. Having a personality that exhibits pride and arrogance can greatly hold you back from getting access to these opportunities.

What are the signs of an overblown ego?

  • You find it difficult to apologize even when you are wrong
  • You find it difficult to associate with others
  • You are too shy- yes, being overly shy can be as a result of being excessively self-aware and overly conscious of one’s self and ego- which is caused by the fear of making a fool of yourself.

Most people prefer to work and play with someone who is easy going and humble. Don’t limit yourself by choosing to satisfy your ego in all situations.

  • What would it take to apologize to someone you have wronged?
  • What would it take to make the first move to greet or say a friendly hello or hi to your neighbors and colleagues at work?
  • What would it take to start a meaningful conversation with a fellow attendee at an event or seminar?
  • What would it take to ask those who are more enlightened or knowledgeable than you for solutions to problems or answers to questions you have?
  • What would it take to cast your ego aside and make that move to live a richer and more rewarding life that appreciates the good in others and therefore, opens you up to the countless opportunities for greatness that abound in life?

–  You have little or no faith in God’s ability to move you forward (not atheist)

Faith in God keeps us going in trying times, it gives us hope that all things will work for our good in the long run. Faith in God helps us to stay on track and remain optimistic even when the situation around us is greatly demoralizing.

For some, however, faith only exists when things are rosy and greatly promising. Send a little storm their way and alas, their faith will disappear into thin air. Their once optimistic personality becomes a thing of the past, their daily routine becomes whining and complaining about how the world has turned against them, how God has deserted them with no ray of hope of a breakthrough.

Well, how worse can it get? What or who else represents hope and greatness if not God? God is the origin, the beginning and the end of hope, of positivity and of all things good. If God doesn’t move you forward, who will? The Devil?

–  You don’t engage in personal development

Personal development is a never ending journey. You can never have enough of it.

No matter how high your level of education is, how great your financial status is or how influential your network of friends and associates are, without actively engaging in personal development, all these might just fizzle out before you know it.

Personal development helps you to upgrade the good you already have to greatness and also helps you to get rid of negative attitude, beliefs or character that can hinder your path to great achievements.

Someone who doesn’t engage in personal development has more or less set a limit for his or her own growth and development. It’s like saying “I have it all, I don’t need any more than I already have”. Let’s be realistic, can you ever have it all? Can you ever know it all? Is it possible to never be in need of anything?

School might be over but you should never stop learning. Read books, watch videos, listen to relevant audio tapes, attend seminars and events with great messages to help you grow and be better physically, financially, socially, spiritually and in all areas of your life.

Form the habit of finding out the lessons in your experiences. What have you learnt so far in life? How much more are you willing to learn?

–  You don’t seek and keep good network of highly impactful people

The popular saying goes: “Show me your friend and I’d tell you who you are.”

But with the present age of internet and social media, I’d say: “show me your contacts (or social media connections) and I’d tell you who you’re likely to become.”

Your experiences and associations have a very high probability of influencing you, whether you like it or not. When you go online, the kind of sites you visit, the things you read, watch and hear on these websites can greatly influence your character, beliefs and overall lifestyle.

When you follow or associate with people who don’t add value to you, people who post negatively influential information online, you are not only limiting yourself, you are also opening your mind up to destruction and ruin.

Seek actively for association with people who can potentially move you forward through an exemplary lifestyle and inspirational personality. Whether online or offline, let the personality of your friends and associates reveal whom you truly want to be in life. Choose positivity over negativity any time.

– You have low self esteem and no self confidence

You need self confidence if you truly want to explore the opportunities for greatness that abound in life. You need to have a moderate level of self esteem to start with if you really want to go for gold and not stones.

Signs you have a low self esteem are:

  • When you constantly give reasons why you are not good enough for one thing or the other
  • When you constantly shy away from responsibilities and commitments
  • When you think you need to lower your standards or under-rate yourself just to fit in or gain acceptance of friends, colleagues or associates.
  • When you constantly compare yourself with others in a way that makes you feel they are better than you (even when that’s not the case).

Having a low self esteem is greatly self-limiting as you are never really able to make good use of opportunities that come to you not to talk of going out there to grab one for yourself.

If you do not believe in your own ability or potential to thrive and be successful, who will?

– You live in fear

Many have surrendered to a life of sadness and despair caused by unfulfilled dreams and aspirations. While many claim to want success and financial breakthrough, only a few have taken up the challenge to conquer their fears and go for it.

When you allow your fears to thrive, you are engaging in self limitation.

Fear is what tells you that you will fail even before you have begun. Fear is that negative energy that sucks you dry of all elements of positivity and motivation to embark on your journey to greatness.

It is okay to analyze your strengths and weaknesses and be realistic about them. However, you should remember that your personality is not permanent and positive changes can be made where necessary in order to move your life forward.

Don’t let the fear of the known or unknown to hold you back from setting great goals and working towards their achievement.

Make a commitment today to get rid of all self limiting thoughts, attitude/character and beliefs that have kept you from achieving success in all areas of your life.

Your opinion of yourself matters a lot. If there’s anything in this world that can limit you, just make sure that it’s not You!



Personal Growth is a never ending process.

Growth covers every aspect of our lives: the mental, physical, spiritual, emotional, financial, medical and intellectual aspects of life. As long as we have our minds intact (no psycho problems) we have the ability to invest in personal growth. We can make efforts to move our lives forward in a positive way.

No matter how messed up your personality is, there is always room for positive change or growth in a positive direction. All it takes is a determination to start working on those flaws that have held you back from living a great life, flaws that have kept you from excelling on all levels.

Here are a few points to note and keep you inspired as you go on your personal growth journey.. Continue reading “PERSONAL GROWTH: THE JOURNEY OF A LIFE TIME”