How to Win Friends and Influence People (My Version)

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Reflecting back to my childhood, I used to be the child that hosts the other kids at play and whenever the day was boring I would wonder what the other kids were doing and go all out to seek them. Back in secondary school, having held class captain roles from primary school, I remember being able to interact with every single member of my class. Be you the “biggest boy/ girl” in class or the one that thinks he/she is a nobody, we would always find a common ground to get along or mess with each other (haha!).

University (and adulthood) showed up and I had become a lot more “careful” and mindful of my associations, while that might have seemed quite boring, it taught me a lot more about life. I still had that personality but it was reserved for intentional friendship and nothing more.

Now, learning more and discovering myself: my strengths, weaknesses, passions and life principles, social media aside (I still suck at keeping in touch! Working on that :D), I have begun to explore meaningful interactions with people where I work and whenever I have the opportunity to be around people. I enjoy observing the diversity in human nature: every man/woman is unique, there is something different about everyone, therefore different strokes for different folks.

Well have you read that book by Dale Carnegie- How to Win Friends and Influence People? I have but this is not an excerpt, this is my version 🙂

How to Win Friends and Influence People Continue reading “How to Win Friends and Influence People (My Version)”

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Anniversary Confessions: How I Overcame my “Fear of Writing”

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My writing ability remains a miracle to behold: I basically had to pray my way into it. Fear of mediocrity (or yarning dust), perfectionism, over-reliance on self motivation that wasn’t forthcoming and so on held me back like a curse. I would include “write…” in my to-do list everyday and then end up with a blank slate- “nothing to write home about”.

All my adult life I have always had series of notebooks I carry around like a purse. There I write down random to deep thoughts that show up in my mind from time to time. I would question myself, criticize myself, and ginger myself in these notebooks.

However I noticed something… each time I went through such exercise, it was usually accompanied by some kind of serenity or fierce will that previously never existed. It elevated me from mediocrity and momentary bouts of indiscipline to excellence and diligence on several occasions most remarkably while in the university.

I would hold “motivational talks” with myself and sometimes imagine myself speaking to some imaginary audience with me seated in the front row but whenever I tried to articulate them in writing I failed.

English Language turned out to be much more difficult than I thought!

And then one day I summoned courage.

Continue reading “Anniversary Confessions: How I Overcame my “Fear of Writing””

Self-Reflection: The Path to a Better Life

 

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Someone once asked me… “Where do you get your write-ups from? Those posts are beyond you!”

*blink* *blink* Awkward silence…

My posts are probably too advanced for where I am at the moment (I mean who am I to tell people what to do with their lives?) but somehow, I just can’t wait till I “get there” before I begin to share my reflections, lessons and observations. That’s like waiting to get home before telling my cousin who’s also on her way home where the keys are.

But then again, who am I sharing these with?

You?

Well, yes you! However, these words are not meant for you alone, but for me too. It is like my “higher self” writing to my normal self and every other person out there that can connect to the topic. I am not just writing to an audience, I am part of the audience. Maybe that’s why I’m able to write with so much passion (or vexation): I am challenging myself as well to make better decisions and live a better life!

The Path to a better life? Reflection! Reflection!! Reflection!!! Continue reading “Self-Reflection: The Path to a Better Life”

EXPERIENCE: How to Unlock Your Well of Wisdom

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Experience is like an orange… what you squeeze out is what you get. You have to squeeze as much juice from your orange as you can get, taste it and then savor the sweetness or sourness of it.

Many people let their experiences go without getting anything meaningful out of them. They see and feel things happen but they never question, they never ask, they never ponder, they never wonder. They just live through them and move on to the next. Oh, what a waste!

Our life basically, is made up of experiences. From the day we were born till the day we die, it’s all just experiences upon experiences- our own personal experiences and the shared experiences of others.

And embedded in our life experiences is the key to great wisdom if only man would reflect.

An open mind, not limited by critical thinking and skepticism is one of the great attributes of a man or woman with wisdom. When you allow biased beliefs and opinions get in the way of your analyses or learning you hardly get anything meaningful or mind-enriching out of it.

When other people share their life experiences with you, it is not for your entertainment. Listen, question, ponder and reflect, there’s something for you as well. What lessons can you obtain from your own experiences and those of other people?

A smart way to live… Continue reading “EXPERIENCE: How to Unlock Your Well of Wisdom”

THE EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE GAME 1.0

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Really, I find complaining or feeling bad about unaccomplished goals or target a waste of time.

You are not a machine; there are times when you don’t meet your own high expectations of yourself. Beating yourself up or playing the blame game is a mere waste of time and expendable energy. And guess what? That would only lead to negative outcomes like depression and pessimism, low self esteem and even maybe unnecessarily high blood pressure.

Well, here’s some good news: You can change your (over-the-top or bad-hormones-producing) mood as soon as within the next 60 seconds. Haha.. yeah, 60 seconds. Wondering how? I do it every time and anytime this happens. Continue reading “THE EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE GAME 1.0”

Laziness is a Sin. Live on Purpose

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Have you ever wondered why you’re so good in mathematics? Highly artistic and intuitive? Or so curious and intelligent?

Have you ever wondered why you find it so easy to interact with people and influence them to take decisions meanwhile your close friend is pretty timid and can hardly initiate or hold a conversation?

Have you ever wondered why you detest disorderliness and would rather take the pain to get things organized and well done?

Have you ever wondered why coming up with (legal) money making ideas come so easily to you while your hardworking, intelligent friends struggle at it?

Have you ever wondered why your kidneys and lungs are still functioning properly while someone your age somewhere is on life support?

Have you ever wondered why you’re still alive and not on a sick bed or six feet under?

“There is something only you can give and without it, someone is being disallowed a healing, a laugh, an uplift to a better quality of life.”

– Asha Tyson (How I Retired at 26) Continue reading “Laziness is a Sin. Live on Purpose”

How to Elevate Your Life can be Pretty Simple: Just Say NO!

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When you think of the word “angel”, you imagine someone who’s extremely nice and would never say NO to your requests, he/she would do anything else in this world but say NO to you.

Sadly, there are no angels on earth, you’d have to get to heaven to find one.

There are many factors that determine whether we achieve success or fulfillment in life or not and while hard work, diligence and determination are required to achieve and maintain that, your ability to say NO when and where necessary can decide whether you make it eventually or not.

The reason why some people are not where they want to be is not because President Buhari of Nigeria is slow and vague in making economic decisions, it is not because of the global recession, neither is it because Donald Trump will become President of America in January, 2017, rather it is due to their inability to say NO when they need to: NO to meaningless engagements, NO to popular opinions that lack depth, NO to requests that tamper with their integrity and self-discipline…

I have said NO a gazillion times in the course of my life. However, I have discovered that on growing up and becoming an adult, it has become a lot more difficult especially when your really close friend, boss, colleague or family member is giving you that puppy eye or stern look that tells you subtly that your future relationship depends on it or when the rest of the world who’s said YES seem to be having all the fun in the world while at it.

So how does using the word NO change your life for good? Continue reading “How to Elevate Your Life can be Pretty Simple: Just Say NO!”

THE EASY WAY TO LIVE AND LOVE LIFE

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Sometimes I think that I am not qualified to give personal development tips and advice, I mean I haven’t broken any world record neither have I fed 5 thousand people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish.

However, I have benefited greatly from my moments of self awareness and reflection. They have helped me ace exams, execute projects successfully and make better/ more rewarding decisions in life.

As such I have come to convince myself: Even if you do not become the richest or the most successful woman in the world, even if you do not live to see the next decade or century, even if you never achieve your dreams, by sharing your stories and positive thoughts, you can support and encourage others in their own journey through life; You can help someone else achieve much more.

And from my experience in writing so far, I have come to discover the truth in this quote:

“Form the habit of encouraging others, and you will find it a wonderful tonic for both those encouraged and yourself, for you will get back encouraging and uplifting thoughts.”

– Theron Dumont (Author: The Power of Concentration)

It is with this uplifting thought that I write this post. I sincerely hope that you’re able to tap into the positive energy and then let it flow graciously to those around you.

 

THE EASY WAY TO LIVE… Continue reading “THE EASY WAY TO LIVE AND LOVE LIFE”

NICE WORDS TO REMEMBER, TOMORROW

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We live in an inconsistent world…

Life is not constant.

Times are always changing; situations are never always the same.

One day, you are comfortable, all is well with you and then another day, you find yourself in a tough situation but then you just can’t give up. You’ve got to keep going, you’ve got to thrive and not just survive.

Some days you wake up strong, healthy and happy, some days you don’t feel so strong, you probably got flu or something and then some days you’re just not emotionally upbeat.  It just happens but you still gotta work, you still gotta make things happen, you can’t stop yet, you just have to keep going.

Maybe take some time to rest and recuperate but you know you’re going back sooner or later to make your own little contribution in the world either by the way of your work or your time.

So whenever you’re making or taking any life decision like marriage, career, and so on, remember to ask yourself some probing questions:

  • Would my love for this remain constant even in the face of life’s unpredictable circumstances?
  • Would I be satisfied and happy with this no matter how rough or tough life gets?

We can never be detailed enough while planning for the future; we can never be too sure.

However, we can take that leap of faith while knowing in our hearts that regardless of what the consequences are, life is full of second chances, and contrary to popular belief, opportunities “hardly come but once”; we can make positive changes and live mindfully, in appreciation of every single circumstance we encounter along the way.

WHEN HUMILITY BECOMES THE ENEMY

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You don’t value what you have.

 

Everyone sees gold in you except you.

You give excuses to explain why you’re not as great as people think.

You see down-talking yourself as being humble.

You try not to excel beyond the normal.

You don’t enjoy the attention that being excellent brings you because:

 

you’re scared of becoming proud.

you’re scared of not being able to keep it up.

you don’t think you deserve the commendations.

you think it’s just a flash in the pan.

 

But you want the success, and every good thing that comes with it;

The money, the love, the recognition and so on

As long as you stay humble and God-fearing.

 

Well then, you’ve got to decide now!

To have all of these and more, you have to value what you have:

The God-given gifts and abilities you have been blessed with.

 

Let the world know that God didn’t bless you so that you could throw it all away.

You have been blessed for a purpose;

Find it, Cherish it, Make the best of it.

 

Stop hiding now, let your inner light shine through and illuminate the world!