Self-Reflection: The Path to a Better Life




Someone once asked me… “Where do you get your write-ups from? Those posts are beyond you!”

*blink* *blink* Awkward silence…

My posts are probably too advanced for where I am at the moment (I mean who am I to tell people what to do with their lives?) but somehow, I just can’t wait till I “get there” before I begin to share my reflections, lessons and observations. That’s like waiting to get home before telling my cousin who’s also on her way home where the keys are.

But then again, who am I sharing these with?


Well, yes you! However, these words are not meant for you alone, but for me too. It is like my “higher self” writing to my normal self and every other person out there that can connect to the topic. I am not just writing to an audience, I am part of the audience. Maybe that’s why I’m able to write with so much passion (or vexation): I am challenging myself as well to make better decisions and live a better life!

The Path to a better life? Reflection! Reflection!! Reflection!!!

I hear people say things like “Don’t take advice except its some accomplished guru telling you what to do with your life.”

Well, one of the most effective advice you’ll ever find is the one that comes from within… your conscience. Sadly people tend to run from their conscience until they hear those same words again from some accomplished guru they claim to respect or admire.

No one knows your journey better than you. No one knows your life mistakes, strengths and weaknesses better than you. It is just that we tend to ignore these things and then wait until someone else comes to validate their existence.

One way to get in touch with our conscience is by reflection… silence. But many run, they flee from this very act. How many people have the mind to stand face to face with the truth, the hard-core-truth?, which is what our conscience presents to us. We’d rather fill up this time with social media, TV and endless bants or rants about other people’s lives and accomplishments.

Lessons from the Past…

One of my best accomplishments in life, all thanks to God, sprang up from a moment of deep, intense self-reflection even before I knew what that was: Me, alone with my thoughts, reflecting upon my then present and past circumstances.

It was back in the university, and no, I wasn’t messing around, I just wasn’t doing enough. I was a bit distracted and was taking certain things for granted.

I started out great, though not on purpose. I underestimated my abilities until I saw my first ever result… a 4.83 GPA, first semester, 100 level. Along the way, I started getting comfortable and my performance started fluctuating. Still on a first class over all but I wasn’t putting in my best effort to not just maintain it but even improve upon it. At some point I consciously aimed for a 5.0 GPA per semester but then instead of hitting it I was sliding even farther behind.

It was time again for exams, second semester, 300 level and I set out to read in an empty lecture room (being a “people person”- interested in people either by observation or by interaction- I concentrate better studying alone than with people around me). I didn’t plan to reflect, it just happened. I found myself writing to myself on a piece of paper:

“What is wrong with you?”

and then I started listing out everything that was indeed wrong with me. In a while I was staring at my weaknesses face to face.

No, I didn’t wait for my parents or anyone to notice and then talk about it. I confronted myself.

And then it happened…

All thanks to God, I hit the 5.0 GPA in first semester 400 level, though I encountered another realization through reflection on why it took so long to get it. I might share that in another post, someday. But remember this:

You do not have to sit for hours at a motivational seminar, or spend days reading motivational books to confront the weaknesses of your life.

Sometimes we get so addicted to reading motivational stuff without really channeling the energy obtained on anything worthwhile.

I got to know about motivational books and all after graduation from the university, thank God for Omotayo B. Adeoye, my friend and then “rival” (haha! jokes. Tayo was an inspiration on her own), who gave me a collection of over 200 e-books. I haven’t even gotten “quarter-way” yet.

My own personal confrontation with myself produced one of the biggest motivations I could ever find, at that moment.

Reading motivational books and articles post-uni has only helped me to improve the process of personal development and has given me more profound things to think and reflect upon. It has helped to refine my thoughts and actions and become even better at self assessment. It has helped to improve my writing skills too, to the point where I can share lessons articulately with you and I.

So my dear friend, what are you waiting for? Brian Tracy’s upcoming book on “Time Management and Productivity”? Done a pre-order yet? Or you’re waiting for your spouse or parents to notice how “slacky” you have been lately and then give you an hour’s worth of lecture before you take necessary steps to make necessary changes?

At every point in our lives, we would always need self-reflection so that we do not lose sight of our goals, or lose focus needed to live on purpose and attain fulfillment in life. And yes, this is me looking back at my journey so far to find wisdom and motivation for the present and then the future.

Go ahead and confront all such weaknesses that are holding you back from your breakthrough. Let your conscience help you grow, God put it in you for a reason!


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