Do you know that when some people are asked the question “who are you?” at that moment, they don’t know exactly what to say? While some stop at saying their names, many are only able to go a little further by giving some personal information such as their occupation or their age.

Many though have been with their own selves all their lives still find it difficult to define themselves and are unable to give a comprehensive description of who they are. This could be because they spend as much time with others whose decisions determine their actions, irrespective of their age. Some, even to the extent of looking up to others to think and act for them: lack of self-reliance

Understand that when you are not the mind behind your decisions or actions, you are wearing the mask of another (you are yet to identify yourself). Yes, it is only normal to seek the advice and the opinion of others, but it is best that they are not imposed.

Though we all know that at the very early stage of life, our parents are responsible for 90% of our activities, but an adjustment is expected to be initiated at the right time and in the right way because in the end, it is your life and you should be able to stand for who you are.

Now, the truth is most people ask the question “who are you?” for many reasons, in most cases, what they really want to know is:

  • The kind of person you are (the stuff you are made of)
  • Your status (how to rate you)
  • How to deal or relate with you (where to place you in their lives)

 This is where self-Identification comes in.

Identifying yourself might not be as easy as it sounds. To some people, it is a problem which is usually caused by poor self-esteem. (By the way, Self-esteem is a topic for another day)

An identity is the mask or appearance one presents to the world. It is the mask by which one is known or labelled or we can say it is the sense of who one is.

Self-identification is therefore, the mental picture you have of yourself, that shows how you perceive yourself.

You should bear in mind that the way you perceive yourself determines the way the world will perceive you. That is, the perception the world has of you is a product of what you think of yourself.

The big question is: how will the world identify you, if you cannot present a mask or an appearance?

One of my lecturers in the university used to say that “what is perceived is perceived according to the perception of the perceiver”. Yes, I agree, but in this contextI could say that‎ “what is perceived is perceived according to the perception presented to the perceiver”.

If you can’t identify yourself, there are two consequences:

Its either you don’t exist to the world around you, or the world sees you as a confused person.

You might be seen as a confused person because you don’t present a definite and consistent mask. Today you are Jack, tomorrow you are Jill. People say it’s a thief or fraudster that wears different identities. You are not a thief, so who are you? What do you present yourself to be? What do you represent?

 How do you identify yourself?

To identify yourself, you have to discover who you are by asking and finding answers to the following questions.

  • Where am I?
  • Why am I here?
  • Where am I coming from?
  • Where do I want to be?
  • What makes me unique?
  • What inspires me?

Being able to get sincere answers to these questions gives your life a meaning, a direction and most importantly, helps you identify or know yourself.

Understand that a positive identity results to a positive life.

This is a guest post written by BOLA ALEMERU. Check out her bio:


Pisces, adventure lover, God chaser, deep thinker (I think/imagine and write more than I talk). Sometimes situation and environment determines my‎ mood, nevertheless, I love meeting people and returning favours.
Producer and business person.


  1. Olanrewaju Oladayo Samuel

    HE said and I quote ”My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure”
    ~ Abraham Lincoln
    So to fail is never a sin but becomes a crime when you have realized and refused to make amends


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