How to Win Friends and Influence People (My Version)

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Reflecting back to my childhood, I used to be the child that hosts the other kids at play and whenever the day was boring I would wonder what the other kids were doing and go all out to seek them. Back in secondary school, having held class captain roles from primary school, I remember being able to interact with every single member of my class. Be you the “biggest boy/ girl” in class or the one that thinks he/she is a nobody, we would always find a common ground to get along or mess with each other (haha!).

University (and adulthood) showed up and I had become a lot more “careful” and mindful of my associations, while that might have seemed quite boring, it taught me a lot more about life. I still had that personality but it was reserved for intentional friendship and nothing more.

Now, learning more and discovering myself: my strengths, weaknesses, passions and life principles, social media aside (I still suck at keeping in touch! Working on that :D), I have begun to explore meaningful interactions with people where I work and whenever I have the opportunity to be around people. I enjoy observing the diversity in human nature: every man/woman is unique, there is something different about everyone, therefore different strokes for different folks.

Well have you read that book by Dale Carnegie- How to Win Friends and Influence People? I have but this is not an excerpt, this is my version 🙂

How to Win Friends and Influence People Continue reading “How to Win Friends and Influence People (My Version)”

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Anniversary Confessions: How I Overcame my “Fear of Writing”

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My writing ability remains a miracle to behold: I basically had to pray my way into it. Fear of mediocrity (or yarning dust), perfectionism, over-reliance on self motivation that wasn’t forthcoming and so on held me back like a curse. I would include “write…” in my to-do list everyday and then end up with a blank slate- “nothing to write home about”.

All my adult life I have always had series of notebooks I carry around like a purse. There I write down random to deep thoughts that show up in my mind from time to time. I would question myself, criticize myself, and ginger myself in these notebooks.

However I noticed something… each time I went through such exercise, it was usually accompanied by some kind of serenity or fierce will that previously never existed. It elevated me from mediocrity and momentary bouts of indiscipline to excellence and diligence on several occasions most remarkably while in the university.

I would hold “motivational talks” with myself and sometimes imagine myself speaking to some imaginary audience with me seated in the front row but whenever I tried to articulate them in writing I failed.

English Language turned out to be much more difficult than I thought!

And then one day I summoned courage.

Continue reading “Anniversary Confessions: How I Overcame my “Fear of Writing””

Self-Reflection: The Path to a Better Life

 

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Someone once asked me… “Where do you get your write-ups from? Those posts are beyond you!”

*blink* *blink* Awkward silence…

My posts are probably too advanced for where I am at the moment (I mean who am I to tell people what to do with their lives?) but somehow, I just can’t wait till I “get there” before I begin to share my reflections, lessons and observations. That’s like waiting to get home before telling my cousin who’s also on her way home where the keys are.

But then again, who am I sharing these with?

You?

Well, yes you! However, these words are not meant for you alone, but for me too. It is like my “higher self” writing to my normal self and every other person out there that can connect to the topic. I am not just writing to an audience, I am part of the audience. Maybe that’s why I’m able to write with so much passion (or vexation): I am challenging myself as well to make better decisions and live a better life!

The Path to a better life? Reflection! Reflection!! Reflection!!! Continue reading “Self-Reflection: The Path to a Better Life”

Laziness is a Sin. Live on Purpose

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Have you ever wondered why you’re so good in mathematics? Highly artistic and intuitive? Or so curious and intelligent?

Have you ever wondered why you find it so easy to interact with people and influence them to take decisions meanwhile your close friend is pretty timid and can hardly initiate or hold a conversation?

Have you ever wondered why you detest disorderliness and would rather take the pain to get things organized and well done?

Have you ever wondered why coming up with (legal) money making ideas come so easily to you while your hardworking, intelligent friends struggle at it?

Have you ever wondered why your kidneys and lungs are still functioning properly while someone your age somewhere is on life support?

Have you ever wondered why you’re still alive and not on a sick bed or six feet under?

“There is something only you can give and without it, someone is being disallowed a healing, a laugh, an uplift to a better quality of life.”

– Asha Tyson (How I Retired at 26) Continue reading “Laziness is a Sin. Live on Purpose”

NICE WORDS TO REMEMBER, TOMORROW

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We live in an inconsistent world…

Life is not constant.

Times are always changing; situations are never always the same.

One day, you are comfortable, all is well with you and then another day, you find yourself in a tough situation but then you just can’t give up. You’ve got to keep going, you’ve got to thrive and not just survive.

Some days you wake up strong, healthy and happy, some days you don’t feel so strong, you probably got flu or something and then some days you’re just not emotionally upbeat.  It just happens but you still gotta work, you still gotta make things happen, you can’t stop yet, you just have to keep going.

Maybe take some time to rest and recuperate but you know you’re going back sooner or later to make your own little contribution in the world either by the way of your work or your time.

So whenever you’re making or taking any life decision like marriage, career, and so on, remember to ask yourself some probing questions:

  • Would my love for this remain constant even in the face of life’s unpredictable circumstances?
  • Would I be satisfied and happy with this no matter how rough or tough life gets?

We can never be detailed enough while planning for the future; we can never be too sure.

However, we can take that leap of faith while knowing in our hearts that regardless of what the consequences are, life is full of second chances, and contrary to popular belief, opportunities “hardly come but once”; we can make positive changes and live mindfully, in appreciation of every single circumstance we encounter along the way.

WHEN HUMILITY BECOMES THE ENEMY

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You don’t value what you have.

 

Everyone sees gold in you except you.

You give excuses to explain why you’re not as great as people think.

You see down-talking yourself as being humble.

You try not to excel beyond the normal.

You don’t enjoy the attention that being excellent brings you because:

 

you’re scared of becoming proud.

you’re scared of not being able to keep it up.

you don’t think you deserve the commendations.

you think it’s just a flash in the pan.

 

But you want the success, and every good thing that comes with it;

The money, the love, the recognition and so on

As long as you stay humble and God-fearing.

 

Well then, you’ve got to decide now!

To have all of these and more, you have to value what you have:

The God-given gifts and abilities you have been blessed with.

 

Let the world know that God didn’t bless you so that you could throw it all away.

You have been blessed for a purpose;

Find it, Cherish it, Make the best of it.

 

Stop hiding now, let your inner light shine through and illuminate the world!

 

THE QUEST FOR PERFECTION: A NEVER ENDING JOURNEY

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We like the beautiful and handsome; the one with all the swag and physical perfection.

We are attracted to the ones with the best diction and accent, the one with the perfect smile, the perfect speech, the perfect ideas and the perfect belongings, properties or acquisitions.

However, in the midst of all that “perfection” lay cast in the shadow the “imperfect ones” longing for love and affection; for a friendly word of hope and encouragement, an uplifting smile or a shoulder to lean on.

We are not even aware of their existence; we pay little or no attention…


  • When was the last time you said hello or smiled randomly at a beggar or a helpless kid you see every day on your way to work?
  • Have you ever stopped to chat with the errand boy or security guy in your work place?
  • Have you ever helped an old man or woman who’s weak and feeble with their bags or baggage on your way out? Do you even notice them?

Most of us in one way or the other are on a quest for perfection: the perfect job, the perfect spouse, the perfect boss, colleague or employee, the perfect friends, the perfect life! And thus we complain when the imperfect happens or is encountered.

We seek perfection in all our endeavors thereby failing to appreciate the little twists and turns that makes our journey more fulfilling and rewarding in the end.

A BLESSING IN DISGUISE

Every day in this world represents a great new opportunity in countless ways: a new business, a new investment, a new positive habit, a new job, a new home, a new idea, a new solution, a new friend…

Amidst the hustle and bustle to make ends meet we do not fail to notice the “perfect ones” among us; the ones with an “extra dose” of blessings that just seem to captivate us all the way.

We fail to recognise and appreciate the fact that life would be lacking greatly in meaning and substance if everyone and everything around us were perfect.

The poor and needy, the neglected kids, the elderly, the physically challenged, the slow learner in your class, the “black sheep” of your workplace or family with all the character flaws in the world- all these and more contribute to the awesomeness of life if only you knew.

The imperfections are God’s way of making us grateful for all that we have and all that we do not have. In the midst of all the imperfection in the world lies our opportunity to show gratitude and to enrich our own lives through reaching out to those in need of our good words and actions.

THE PERFECT ROLE WHICH IS OURS TO PLAY

  • Maybe we were made strong so we can help the weak find their strength.
  • Maybe we are physically able so we can help the physically disabled.
  • Maybe we are rich and successful so we can help the poor and needy live comfortably and probably discover their own path to a great fortune.
  • Maybe we are wise and intelligent so the world can be made a better place by our insights and ideas.

All in all, the lesson to be drawn from this is:

Be it in form of our words or our actions, we all have a favor to do for the man or woman, boy or girl next to us and most times we really shouldn’t wait to be asked before we do it.

We shouldn’t expect to be compensated for doing it.

We shouldn’t expect gratitude either.

We should, however, look up to the One who gave us the wisdom, strength and capability to do all that we have in gratitude and in hope for the grace to do more.

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MY IDEAL PERSONALITY

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My Ideal Personality or person is:

  • Calm but agile
  • Fashionable but not vain
  • Smart, Intelligent and/or seeking intelligence
  • Humble but not easily manipulated

Continue reading “MY IDEAL PERSONALITY”

THE FUTURE DOES NOT EXIST!

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The Future Does Not Exist…

The so called “TOMORROW” never really comes.

We do not wake into TOMORROW, we wake into another day… TODAY.

We expect to sleep and one day, wake into the FUTURE

But NO, the FUTURE is just another day… TODAY. Continue reading “THE FUTURE DOES NOT EXIST!”

WHERE DO YOU BELONG?

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Everybody wants to:

Talk like everybody, Act like everybody,

Dress like everybody and Be like everybody.

But everybody can’t be everybody because… Continue reading “WHERE DO YOU BELONG?”