How to Win Friends and Influence People (My Version)

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Reflecting back to my childhood, I used to be the child that hosts the other kids at play and whenever the day was boring I would wonder what the other kids were doing and go all out to seek them. Back in secondary school, having held class captain roles from primary school, I remember being able to interact with every single member of my class. Be you the “biggest boy/ girl” in class or the one that thinks he/she is a nobody, we would always find a common ground to get along or mess with each other (haha!).

University (and adulthood) showed up and I had become a lot more “careful” and mindful of my associations, while that might have seemed quite boring, it taught me a lot more about life. I still had that personality but it was reserved for intentional friendship and nothing more.

Now, learning more and discovering myself: my strengths, weaknesses, passions and life principles, social media aside (I still suck at keeping in touch! Working on that :D), I have begun to explore meaningful interactions with people where I work and whenever I have the opportunity to be around people. I enjoy observing the diversity in human nature: every man/woman is unique, there is something different about everyone, therefore different strokes for different folks.

Well have you read that book by Dale Carnegie- How to Win Friends and Influence People? I have but this is not an excerpt, this is my version 🙂

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THE EASY WAY TO LIVE AND LOVE LIFE

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Sometimes I think that I am not qualified to give personal development tips and advice, I mean I haven’t broken any world record neither have I fed 5 thousand people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish.

However, I have benefited greatly from my moments of self awareness and reflection. They have helped me ace exams, execute projects successfully and make better/ more rewarding decisions in life.

As such I have come to convince myself: Even if you do not become the richest or the most successful woman in the world, even if you do not live to see the next decade or century, even if you never achieve your dreams, by sharing your stories and positive thoughts, you can support and encourage others in their own journey through life; You can help someone else achieve much more.

And from my experience in writing so far, I have come to discover the truth in this quote:

“Form the habit of encouraging others, and you will find it a wonderful tonic for both those encouraged and yourself, for you will get back encouraging and uplifting thoughts.”

– Theron Dumont (Author: The Power of Concentration)

It is with this uplifting thought that I write this post. I sincerely hope that you’re able to tap into the positive energy and then let it flow graciously to those around you.

 

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THE QUEST FOR PERFECTION: A NEVER ENDING JOURNEY

THE-QUEST-FOR-PERFECTION

We like the beautiful and handsome; the one with all the swag and physical perfection.

We are attracted to the ones with the best diction and accent, the one with the perfect smile, the perfect speech, the perfect ideas and the perfect belongings, properties or acquisitions.

However, in the midst of all that “perfection” lay cast in the shadow the “imperfect ones” longing for love and affection; for a friendly word of hope and encouragement, an uplifting smile or a shoulder to lean on.

We are not even aware of their existence; we pay little or no attention…


  • When was the last time you said hello or smiled randomly at a beggar or a helpless kid you see every day on your way to work?
  • Have you ever stopped to chat with the errand boy or security guy in your work place?
  • Have you ever helped an old man or woman who’s weak and feeble with their bags or baggage on your way out? Do you even notice them?

Most of us in one way or the other are on a quest for perfection: the perfect job, the perfect spouse, the perfect boss, colleague or employee, the perfect friends, the perfect life! And thus we complain when the imperfect happens or is encountered.

We seek perfection in all our endeavors thereby failing to appreciate the little twists and turns that makes our journey more fulfilling and rewarding in the end.

A BLESSING IN DISGUISE

Every day in this world represents a great new opportunity in countless ways: a new business, a new investment, a new positive habit, a new job, a new home, a new idea, a new solution, a new friend…

Amidst the hustle and bustle to make ends meet we do not fail to notice the “perfect ones” among us; the ones with an “extra dose” of blessings that just seem to captivate us all the way.

We fail to recognise and appreciate the fact that life would be lacking greatly in meaning and substance if everyone and everything around us were perfect.

The poor and needy, the neglected kids, the elderly, the physically challenged, the slow learner in your class, the “black sheep” of your workplace or family with all the character flaws in the world- all these and more contribute to the awesomeness of life if only you knew.

The imperfections are God’s way of making us grateful for all that we have and all that we do not have. In the midst of all the imperfection in the world lies our opportunity to show gratitude and to enrich our own lives through reaching out to those in need of our good words and actions.

THE PERFECT ROLE WHICH IS OURS TO PLAY

  • Maybe we were made strong so we can help the weak find their strength.
  • Maybe we are physically able so we can help the physically disabled.
  • Maybe we are rich and successful so we can help the poor and needy live comfortably and probably discover their own path to a great fortune.
  • Maybe we are wise and intelligent so the world can be made a better place by our insights and ideas.

All in all, the lesson to be drawn from this is:

Be it in form of our words or our actions, we all have a favor to do for the man or woman, boy or girl next to us and most times we really shouldn’t wait to be asked before we do it.

We shouldn’t expect to be compensated for doing it.

We shouldn’t expect gratitude either.

We should, however, look up to the One who gave us the wisdom, strength and capability to do all that we have in gratitude and in hope for the grace to do more.

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