Tag: Inspiration

Love Yourself: The Path to True Happiness.

On By Olajumoke OlaIn Inspiration, Personal DevelpomentLeave a comment

Love yourself even when you’re not at your best:

  • When you’re not going hard at your goals enough…
  • When you’re too tired to keep going
  • When you’ve lost focus and discipline to put in the work
  • When you messed up and everyone else in the world seems to hate you
  • When… Whenever.

 Just love yourself… 🧡

Because love is a healer and a builder. You don’t build anything solid and lasting and beautiful with hate or indifference.

You can have a strong dislike for flaws because they hinder you from being your best self but the path to overcoming them requires that you love yourself well enough to go about it in a healthy way. Not out of an obsession for perfection but because you truly love yourself enough to want the best for yourself. 

To pick yourself up from that low point to a much higher, more fulfilling point, you need to love yourself because love creates the right mindset and environment you need to become your best self.

We tend to look on the outside for love so often and then whatever feedback we get determines how much love we feel or have for ourselves. 

When the world isn’t hyping you up and telling you how much they love you, you start thinking, “maybe I’m not that lovable”.

You begin to ignore activities that require you to spend time alone with yourself and develop habits that neglect your self care and well-being including working on your goals to achieve a more fulfilling life.

Truly…

We accept the love we think we deserve.

— Stephen Chbosky

When you don’t think you deserve that much love, you’ll sabotage every opportunity to receive love from others.

Love your neighbor as yourself but many don’t even love themselves that much. So then, how much love can their neighbor get?

If you aren’t good at loving yourself, you will have a difficult time loving anyone, since you’ll resent the time and energy you give another person that you aren’t even giving to yourself.

— Barbara De Angelis

People who love themselves enough, healthily, not in a  narcissistic way, are more prone to radiate love and warmth and are more open to giving love to others.

And the more love you give to others, the more love you’re likely to get back (although you can expect that not all love given will be requited because, remember, some people don’t even love themselves enough to give love to others).

Loving yourself is a daily requirement. It requires intentionality and self awareness. Life can be filled with so much activity— it’s so easy to forget or be mindful about how we treat ourselves and how we see ourselves.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the urgency of life and not take time to reflect and appreciate yourself.

So how do you infuse loving yourself deliberately into your daily life?

  • Pay attention to your needs, don’t dismiss them or push them away
  • Prioritize your well being
  • Use gentle words on yourself: Don’t speak to yourself in a harsh or negative tone. 
  • Train your mind to always look for the good in yourself instead of focusing on your flaws
  • Pay attention to the energy you receive from the outside and how it’s affecting you internally. If it makes you bitter not better, it’s time to consider moving away from that space.
  • Spend more time on activities that help you discover yourself: your strengths, weaknesses, talents and inspirations.
  • Keep a journal to stay mindful and reflect on your experiences. Sort your thoughts to keep your mind clean and refreshed rather than carrying around baggage from external sources beyond your control.
  • Self care of course, is a great way to express self love. You care for the things or people you love. So spend time taking care of you:
    • Eat healthy food you love
    • Use great body care products to keep your body radiant
    • Exercise and stay fit
    • Wear nice clothes
    • Read nice books and consume great content that improves your mind and soul
    • Go to places that energise you in a healthy way and inspires you to be your best self
    • Spend more time with people who make you happy.

Fall in love with taking care of yourself. Fall in love with the path of deep healing. Fall in love with becoming the best version of yourself but with patience, with compassion, and respect to your own journey.

— S. McNutt

 

Put great effort into acquiring valuable skills and being of service. This helps you develop a sense of purpose and meaning— when you know you’re not just all about yourself but are also helping to improve the world in the best way you can.

Loving yourself daily takes deliberateness of effort. Life wouldn’t always be rosy and filled with happy moments but by being deliberate and prioritizing what matters, you can infuse love into your life without waiting for others to hand it over to you…

You can be genuinely happy or content without relying on external validation or approval. You can truly become better and radiate more love and warmth to others.

Find the love you seek, by first finding the love within yourself. Learn to rest in that place within you that is your true home.

— Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

The world needs more love. But love begins in you…

🧡

— Olajumoke Ola

Kindness is Much Deeper Than You Think.

On By Olajumoke OlaIn Community Development, Inspiration, Personal DevelpomentLeave a comment

Kindness is a really deep word. So deep that we humans can never fully comprehend what it takes to be “Kind”. Kindness covers so many other attributes that we typically don’t associate with it.

  • A kind person is a honest person.
  • A kind person is fair and just in their judgement
  • A kind person honors their word and wouldn’t deliberately disappoint those who trust them.
  • A kind person is quick to forgive because they know being unforgiving will bring suffering to those who hurt them.
  • A kind person apologizes deeply for their wrongs because even a kind person can make mistakes. He/ she’s still human you know.
  • A kind person speaks up for those who can’t speak for themselves and shows strong support to those who can’t support themselves.
  • A kind person looks out for the good in others.

A kind person always has work to do because kindness can be a full time job. There’s always someone or something in need of your kindness.

Kindness goes so deep that if a human were to embody it 24/7 they’ll probably never have a moment of free time or a single penny left in their bank account.

Kindness is so huge a responsibility that we humans can never really have it 100%. Why?

Humans feel fatigue.

We get tired; we lose motivation. We get discouraged. Beyond these, we all have our own issues and needs that may distract us or make us mentally/ emotionally unavailable to express true kindness every single time.

To fully embody kindness 24/7 would be like trying to compete with God for His role. But we DO need to keep trying. Kindness remains one of those traits— just like humility— that we can only keep aspiring to and keep working at being.

It is an ongoing effort.

A person may do great acts of kindness today and then follow up with unkindness or indifference the very next day. Or even, the very next minute.

It takes commitment to be Kind. But we also need to remember that kindness begins from within.

Remember to be kind to yourself. Because showing kindness to others without being kind to yourself is the greatest form of unkindness.

Kindness is the bedrock of righteousness.

The effects of kindness has such a strong ripple effect beyond what we can imagine. A simple act of kindness to one can inspire many to be kind and the one who received such kindness may become even more motivated to show kindness to others.

One of the reasons why people become unkind is because they have gone through so much unkindness or grew up in an unkind environment.

Most crimes committed in the world are called crimes because they are acts of unkindness that ended up causing hurt to someone or people.

If there’s one thing that needs to be dominant in prisons and rehabilitation centres, that thing would be kindness— reforming these minds by showing them what kindness really means.

We can reform these kinds of people not by total condemnation but by simple acts of kindness done repeatedly and consistently.

Kindness is a builder and a reformer. We can build truly great communities when we make kindness a bedrock for our actions.

🧡

— Olajumoke Ola

Time is The Teacher

On By Olajumoke OlaIn Life Lessons, Personal Develpoment, Reflections2 Comments

We usually say experience is the best teacher when really, TIME is the teacher. It is Time that makes experience valuable…

Your experiences tend to reveal different insights and lessons over the years. As you grow older and reflect on them, you tend to discover new meanings and insights sometimes, based on subsequent experiences.

When we meet someone new, there’s usually this euphoria we experience especially when we’re just getting to know them. People tend to be their nicest, their happiest and most amazing self in this phase.

The conversations, the hangouts, the hopes and aspirations for what can become of that new encounter makes it all so beautiful. And even when it’s not so much on a high note, there’s still a bit of curiosity and excitement about what may become of that new friendship/ acquaintance.

However, I have learned mostly from observation that sometimes we need to be a lil’ more patient or calm about our expectations. We need to low down a bit on the adrenaline rush that comes with new encounters.

People reveal their true selves over time. Not because they were hiding anything specifically but because in time, situations will arise that will do a better job of helping you discover who they can really be.

  • How do they act when offended?
  • Are they trustworthy or reliable?
  • Are they compatible for work or project collaborations?
  • Are they vibe killers or hardcore motivators?
  • Do they have a fixed mindset or are open to learning and growing?

These are not questions you can answer on the spot. You will have to learn from experience— experience that will only show up in due TIME.

Many have made the mistake of trusting too early and going hard on friendship too soon only to get burned in the end.

  • Give people space to reveal themselves.
  • Give people space to show you who they are— not who you want them to be.
  • Give people space to desire a friendship or acquaintance with you.
  • Give people space to come to you because they want to.

And when they do?

Show them that you truly value their honesty, openness and whatever commitment they put into building something worthy of keeping with you by reciprocating in perhaps even better ways, with an even better energy.

But someone has to initiate the process. This could be you, this could be them. Making the first move isn’t really the point— setting and maintaining a meaningful pace in the evolution of that friendship is the most important part.

The right pace gives you space to review your actions and make valuable adjustments over time.

The right pace gives you the opportunity to observe your relationships and ensure you don’t end up with regrets.

At the right pace, you learn without putting too much on the line.

Should you ever throw caution into the wind and just go for it? Well, you’ll have to answer that. But be ready to take responsibility for your actions. Time is a teacher and it can also be a healer. If things ever go wrong, hopefully you will heal in time…

🧡

— Olajumoke Ola.

Man’s Search for God

On By Olajumoke OlaIn Inspiration, Life Lessons, Personal Develpoment, Reflections, SpiritualityLeave a comment

Man is constantly given an opportunity to search for God— to experience his neediness of Him, to discover his own awareness of Him and submit his helplessness to Him.

  • The uncertainties of life
  • The quiet moments…
  • When nothing significant is happening
  • The moments of perceived stagnation
  • The moments of setback
  • The moments of fear and anxiety
  • The moments of regret and self-condemnation
  • The moments of undeserved miracles and deep inspiration…

These are all moments when that opportunity shows up. Everyone of us carries that question somewhere in our hearts:

Could there be more to this?

Maybe there truly is.

  • Is there someone behind all these?
  • Why do I always want more?
  • Why do I feel an emptiness sometimes, like there’s a void in my heart waiting to be filled?

Maybe there truly is a void. And indeed, it is waiting to be filled. But you will have to decide when— when you want to embark on the journey…

The journey to filling that void.

Because it is a journey…

One that will last a lifetime— a lifetime of learning and unlearning; a lifetime of contemplation and reflection; a lifetime of worship and service; a lifetime of recurring peace and tranquility…

A lifetime of satisfaction and fulfilment— of bliss, of pure hope and faith. And deep down in your heart, you will know with all conviction and gratitude…

You have finally found Him.

🧡

Anniversary Confessions: How I Overcame my “Fear of Writing”

On By Olajumoke OlaIn Life Lessons, Personal Develpoment, Reflections3 Comments

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My writing ability remains a miracle to behold: I basically had to pray my way into it. Fear of mediocrity (or yarning dust), perfectionism, over-reliance on self motivation that wasn’t forthcoming and so on held me back like a curse. I would include “write…” in my to-do list everyday and then end up with a blank slate- “nothing to write home about”.

All my adult life I have always had series of notebooks I carry around like a purse. There I write down random to deep thoughts that show up in my mind from time to time. I would question myself, criticize myself, and ginger myself in these notebooks.

However I noticed something… each time I went through such exercise, it was usually accompanied by some kind of serenity or fierce will that previously never existed. It elevated me from mediocrity and momentary bouts of indiscipline to excellence and diligence on several occasions most remarkably while in the university.

I would hold “motivational talks” with myself and sometimes imagine myself speaking to some imaginary audience with me seated in the front row but whenever I tried to articulate them in writing I failed.

English Language turned out to be much more difficult than I thought!

And then one day I summoned courage.

Continue reading “Anniversary Confessions: How I Overcame my “Fear of Writing”” →

EXPERIENCE: How to Unlock Your Well of Wisdom

On By Olajumoke OlaIn Life Lessons, Personal DevelpomentLeave a comment

WISDOM_MC2

Experience is like an orange… what you squeeze out is what you get. You have to squeeze as much juice from your orange as you can get, taste it and then savor the sweetness or sourness of it.

Many people let their experiences go without getting anything meaningful out of them. They see and feel things happen but they never question, they never ask, they never ponder, they never wonder. They just live through them and move on to the next. Oh, what a waste!

Our life basically, is made up of experiences. From the day we were born till the day we die, it’s all just experiences upon experiences- our own personal experiences and the shared experiences of others.

And embedded in our life experiences is the key to great wisdom if only man would reflect.

An open mind, not limited by critical thinking and skepticism is one of the great attributes of a man or woman with wisdom. When you allow biased beliefs and opinions get in the way of your analyses or learning you hardly get anything meaningful or mind-enriching out of it.

When other people share their life experiences with you, it is not for your entertainment. Listen, question, ponder and reflect, there’s something for you as well. What lessons can you obtain from your own experiences and those of other people?

A smart way to live… Continue reading “EXPERIENCE: How to Unlock Your Well of Wisdom” →

THE EASY WAY TO LIVE AND LOVE LIFE

On By Olajumoke OlaIn Inspiration, Life Lessons, Personal DevelpomentLeave a comment

THE-EASY-WAY-TO-LIVE-AND-LOVE-LIFE

Sometimes I think that I am not qualified to give personal development tips and advice, I mean I haven’t broken any world record neither have I fed 5 thousand people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish.

However, I have benefited greatly from my moments of self awareness and reflection. They have helped me ace exams, execute projects successfully and make better/ more rewarding decisions in life.

As such I have come to convince myself: Even if you do not become the richest or the most successful woman in the world, by sharing your stories and positive thoughts, you can support and encourage others in their own journey through life; You can help someone else achieve much more.

And from my experience in writing so far, I have come to discover the truth in this quote:

“Form the habit of encouraging others, and you will find it a wonderful tonic for both those encouraged and yourself, for you will get back encouraging and uplifting thoughts.”

– Theron Dumont (Author: The Power of Concentration)

It is with this uplifting thought that I write this post. I sincerely hope that you’re able to tap into the positive energy and then let it flow graciously to those around you.

 

THE EASY WAY TO LIVE… Continue reading “THE EASY WAY TO LIVE AND LOVE LIFE” →

NICE WORDS TO REMEMBER, TOMORROW

On By Olajumoke OlaIn Life Lessons, Personal Develpoment, ReflectionsLeave a comment

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We live in an inconsistent world…

Life is not constant.

Times are always changing; situations are never always the same.

One day, you are comfortable, all is well with you and then another day, you find yourself in a tough situation but then you just can’t give up. You’ve got to keep going, you’ve got to thrive and not just survive.

Some days you wake up strong, healthy and happy, some days you don’t feel so strong, you probably got flu or something and then some days you’re just not emotionally upbeat.  It just happens but you still gotta work, you still gotta make things happen, you can’t stop yet, you just have to keep going.

Maybe take some time to rest and recuperate but you know you’re going back sooner or later to make your own little contribution in the world either by the way of your work or your time.

So whenever you’re making or taking any life decision like marriage, career, and so on, remember to ask yourself some probing questions:

  • Would my love for this remain constant even in the face of life’s unpredictable circumstances?
  • Would I be satisfied and happy with this no matter how rough or tough life gets?

We can never be detailed enough while planning for the future; we can never be too sure.

However, we can take that leap of faith while knowing in our hearts that regardless of what the consequences are, life is full of second chances, and contrary to popular belief, opportunities “hardly come but once”; we can make positive changes and live mindfully, in appreciation of every single circumstance we encounter along the way.

SELF-IDENTIFICATION: WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

On By Olajumoke OlaIn Guest Post, Personal Develpoment1 Comment

Do you know that when some people are asked the question “who are you?” at that moment, they don’t know exactly what to say? While some stop at saying their names, many are only able to go a little further by giving some personal information such as their occupation or their age.

Many though have been with their own selves all their lives still find it difficult to define themselves and are unable to give a comprehensive description of who they are. This could be because they spend as much time with others whose decisions determine their actions, irrespective of their age. Some, even to the extent of looking up to others to think and act for them: lack of self-reliance Continue reading “SELF-IDENTIFICATION: WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?” →

CHERISH YOUR “STRUGGLE DAYS”: They exist for a reason…

On By Olajumoke OlaIn Inspiration, Personal DevelpomentLeave a comment

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Dear Awesome Reader,

Are you currently on a journey to unleashing your potentials? Are you pursuing your dreams and aspirations? Does it feel so over whelming and stressful? Are you feeling lonely, dejected and ready to give up? If yes, then wait a minute, this post is for you! Continue reading “CHERISH YOUR “STRUGGLE DAYS”: They exist for a reason…” →