We usually say experience is the best teacher when really, TIME is the teacher. It is Time that makes experience valuable…

Your experiences tend to reveal different insights and lessons over the years. As you grow older and reflect on them, you tend to discover new meanings and insights sometimes, based on subsequent experiences.

When we meet someone new, there’s usually this euphoria we experience especially when we’re just getting to know them. People tend to be their nicest, their happiest and most amazing self in this phase.

The conversations, the hangouts, the hopes and aspirations for what can become of that new encounter makes it all so beautiful. And even when it’s not so much on a high note, there’s still a bit of curiosity and excitement about what may become of that new friendship/ acquaintance.

However, I have learned mostly from observation that sometimes we need to be a lil’ more patient or calm about our expectations. We need to low down a bit on the adrenaline rush that comes with new encounters.

People reveal their true selves over time. Not because they were hiding anything specifically but because in time, situations will arise that will do a better job of helping you discover who they can really be.

• How do they act when offended?
• Are they trustworthy or reliable?
• Are they compatible for work or project collaborations?
• Are they vibe killers or hardcore motivators?
• Do they have a fixed mindset or are open to learning and growing?

These are not questions you can answer on the spot. You will have to learn from experience— experience that will only show up in due TIME.

Many have made the mistake of trusting too early and going hard on friendship too soon only to get burned in the end.

• Give people space to reveal themselves.
• Give people space to show you who they are— not who you want them to be.
• Give people space to desire a friendship or acquaintance with you.
• Give people space to come to you because they want to.

And when they do?

Show them that you truly value their honesty, openness and whatever commitment they put into building something worthy of keeping with you by reciprocating in perhaps even better ways, with an even better energy.

But someone has to initiate the process. This could be you, this could be them. Making the first move isn’t really the point— setting and maintaining a meaningful pace in the evolution of that friendship is the most important part.

The right pace gives you space to review your actions and make valuable adjustments over time.

The right pace gives you the opportunity to observe your relationships and ensure you don’t end up with regrets.

At the right pace, you learn without putting too much on the line.

Should you ever throw caution into the wind and just go for it? Well, you’ll have to answer that. But be ready to take responsibility for your actions. Time is a teacher and it can also be a healer. If things ever go wrong, hopefully you will heal in time…

🧡

— Olajumoke Ola.